Of Marriages and What Nots...

There’s a guy I know who would like a woman to marry and I am happy for him, but his comes with other constraints; she has to know how to cook and every day after work, he wants to get home and find her cooking in the kitchen, wants her to not go out and drink, better yet, not drink at all; she has to be with him [or want to be] when he is watching footie, not really a career woman…..
I looked at this guy and all I could think was, “Really? Do those actually exist? Or do you have to have one custom made?”
I have views on the whole marriage issue and mine might be jaded by the fact that almost all the people I know aren’t [haven’t been] in very good ones and I am yet to get convinced to try and wrap my head around the idea of my being in one. But I still think that a marriage is like a contract and there is a whole lot of give and take and the demands that this guy was putting across were basically unachievable.
Look at it this way, you meet me at the bar, am sipping on my drink, and you want to talk with me, the most probable scenario that would play out would be you asking to buy me a drink and if I accept, then it is basically an opening for a conversation, hopefully not shouted into my ear coz it’s so loud in the pub and me being reduced to smiling and nodding to what you are saying even though I can barely hear a word!
So we met in the pub and despite the noise, we agree we like each other, several other pub visits and we start going out and a few months/years later, we are hitched, would you really expect that I will not drink or want to go to the pub? Well, that is being a tad bit ambitious on your part coz I will also not expect you to put your balls in my purse either….savvy?
We look at relationships and marriage, which is technically a relationship, like it should change everything but I think it should be on the contrary. Just because we are into the marriage/relationship doesn’t mean you still can’t buy me flowers or that I can’t give you a massage before you sleep or that we can’t go out and have fun with other people around us… I know I will get bored if all I see is you. The one thing i believe in is that just because we are now together, doesn’t mean that I don’t have a life other than with you, I still have friends and family that I will want to see and sometimes, I will want to be with just me to read a book, get a mani-/pedi -treatment, just be me; and you as the person I have chosen to be with should be able to understand that.
Most women now, are career women and it would take a very strong woman to decide to leave her career to just cater to you; first coz its bloody boring and then there’s the subject of impracticality, seeing as most households need two incomes to get through, life is expensive and even though most men will want to take care of the family, well, you, sir, are only one man and you can only do so much.
I appreciate the machismo and to some extent, admire it, but hey, sweetie, no one expects you to be more than you can be, least of all me (yaani, your significant other). Given, there are those women who expect the man to do everything, but practically, you will come in at some point, maybe to buy tomatoes or a matchbox, but you will still contribute in some way to the running of things.
If and when I am in a relationship, I like feeling like we are almost equal or at par but I am practical enough to allow him the privilege to keep his balls and pay the bills and treat me like a damsel in distress once in a while, but I have never, even once thought that I could leave my career for you, even if you are Trump, I still want to feel like I have something to call my own.
You take away my “things” I will also want to take away yours, I quit my job, then I want you to stop watching footie with the boys not unless its in the house, basically, its detrimental to both of us. Keep what you love, I will keep what I love then we can both love each other and not the image we want to have of the other person.

Shae out to get some lurvin’!