I read someone's tweet and she said that all ugly whores [spelt “hoes”] have sex on the first date and I thought, no, even pretty women have been known to do this. This got me thinking and I came to the conclusion that the first date determines your relationship with a person [did that make me sound learned and like I knew what I was on about?]
When I was younger, way younger, and I had a boy [adorable how I called them that, 'boy'] ask me to kiss him, I would, and did, write the poor tyke a very long list of reasons why we shouldn't engage in such behavior; I actually believed that kissing was a behavior...aaaahhh to be young and naïve again.
Back then, I, honestly, believed that “purity” counted and I held on to that till I was about 20 and then I discovered sex and we all know how it goes from there. I am no super woman and I did hold on to my innocence as long as I could, but, hey.... [If you don't then you shouldn't be reading this, it has a PG rating on it.]
On the same note, is everyone's “first time” a disappointment or was that just me? But the second time sort of made up for it. Enough about that..
Nowadays, all that belief in saving “it” for that special person seems to have gone away with...oh, I cant think of anything since everything is apparently making a comeback! Like the flared pants, button up blouses...But I digress, purity and romance are now a thing of the past and I think for most, going out to drink and to party is as romantic as it gets, though I know there is someone whose idea of a perfect time would be dinner/coffee and conversation....im dreamy eyed over this notion...then the glass shatters when you meet those who just want sex and a good time which I think is the same thing, no?
One night stands are so common, though I would prefer mine goes the Jazmine Sullivan's way, with him turning out to be my kryptonite and finding myself making him pancakes in the morning, not saying bye or me getting breakfast made for me.... Well, it is not like this....its so common, people doing the walk of shame..
I think the reason so many of us have resorted to this is not coz we don't want a meaningful relationship, no, its coz there are so many “if's” and “maybe's” and its just to much work to try and sort it all out, so hey, meaningless, almost, un-guilty sex...maybe, but I still want me that guy who will sweep me of my feet, take me out to dinner so I can put those dresses to good use...
My friend says that no one ever meets anyone while they are single, they always have someone in their lives and the only way you can deal with this is to make yourself available coz maybe, just maybe, the person they are with ain't really meant for them, so you make yourself available and maybe he notices you, and well, the cogs come together nicely. I believe this is true coz otherwise, we wouldn't have to look at that guy/girl while we are with him/her, we would be content. Or else, its just us being human and allowing our eyes and thoughts to rove.
Relationships are hard to find and harder to keep, so I think I would rather make up my own rules as I go coz rules, the ones that were made for dating, are on a scroll somewhere gathering dust along with King Tut's mboches.
Just because I slept with you on the first date doesn't necessarily mean im an “ugly hoe” [smh, what is this mangling of this language we speak?] no, maybe I just hadn't had some for a while, or you were so attractive I lost my mind, or I left my reason on the table along with the tip for the waiter, so don't blame me, blame him for not running after me and returning it.
But seriously, rules of dating, they are different now than they were before coz I know a couple who are still together, and happily so, even though their first date was a one night stand of bunny sex.
I think that a relationship is what you make it, and sex, the same, if you let sex define your relationship with someone, then, hey, that is your decision, I believe you shape what you want, and I believe in not dwelling on what society deems the norm. someone tweeted, “Heterosexual is not normal, its just common” not necessarily looking at it literally, but it makes a whole lot of sense, that statement...just coz its normal for people to think you a “hoe” because you gave it up the first night/day, doesn't necessarily mean you are....
Shae, OUT!
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