All those times i looked into your eyes,
The smile you put on my face
The memories that we made
Lay in my heart where they belong
You arent, unfortunately,
Though for a moment i did dream,
I had it in my head that it may not work.
So i look at you now and i sigh
There's nothing left of me and you;
Yeah, there's no more 'us', just me first then you
It gets like that sometimes, i aint sorry.
You will never know this
But, sometimes, i wished for this, an ending
And though i dint like the notion,
It dint just happen, we dint JUST end..
I felt it, you see, but i hoped too
Its human to want to cling, but i've learnt in the past;
What i want and what i need, dont always match up.
And what you gave was'nt what i needed.
Hey, let's not linger over the 'loss'
I'm looking at something new, a yearning
Maybe i sound cruel, but you played your hand
Pun not intended my darling.
One last thing:
I heard i am pretty hard to get over.
XX
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Of Girls and Partying....
Party Girls and relationships, do guys take PG’s seriously, would they marry one?
If you are a guy and you are reading this, would you marry a PG?
I met my friends pal, they went to uni together and being the loud mouth that I am [I have “foot-in-mouth” disease]I asked him how come he is the only one who hasn’t gone and gotten hitched. He said a very surprising thing, “well, I couldn’t marry any of the girls I used to go partying with. I want to marry a girl who is gentle and will not compete with me when it comes to going out.”
For the first time in a long while, I dint have a come-back, I think its called “growing up and learning to pick your battles”. I looked at him and I thought, ”well, aint that mighty of you?” sarcastically of course; I don’t know how to think any other way. There he was all that time going out with these girls and having fun with them but when it comes to making commitments, the girls are suddenly “too fun” for his taste? I dint see how that made sense at all but apparently it did to him and thinking about it, most guys I know think the same way.
A guy once told me that I am the only woman he knows he can call at 2AM and I will be in the house not in some club or bar, a point for me, I’m guessing, but still.
So you meet a girl in a bar or club and that straight away says she is not the take-home-to-mum type? Men, aren’t we forgetting a very important part of the equation here? YOU are In the same bar/club, aren’t you? So does that mean that you, as the guy, are not a person I would want to take home to meet the parents too? Good question, huh?
There is this stereo type for girls you meet in the club, Party Girls, and I think it’s a common misconception that all girls in that club fall into that category.
Chrystal is a lawyer [with a stripper’s name (I just had to)]and her job takes up most of her time, she gets off work late and starts real early; she doesn’t have any other chance to let off steam other than when she meets up with the girls and they go dancing. She takes of the power suit and its shorts or a LBD to the club where she dances most of the night or sips on a drink.
So you meet Chrystal on the dance floor and you immediately assume she is a PG coz of the location and dismiss her as a potential partner? No problem, she is probably out of your league; you pious jerk! Oh, there she goes! There is the me we all know.
In all seriousness, I think sometimes men are pretentious when it comes to women, you have double standards, like if a girl has slept with quite a number of men, she is a whore or not worth it? Aren’t you the same men she slept with? I don’t see how it is wrong, im not saying to go and sleep with many men, there are many risks, especially diseases, but still!
So here you are in a club and you are very likely to be looking to “funga” someone, but in the same breathe, pass judgment on a girl who might just be out on a date with her girls? How insanely demented is that?
I looked at that guy that day and I thought he was as sanctimonious as those men who go around trying to sleep with every girl they meet but still want to marry a virgin, smh. I went to the dance floor then and danced my tush off and for the next two hours, I was a party girl. I had fun; good food, some fine wine and wonderful girl friends, yes, I was a party girl for a few hours, and after that, I went home, put away my shoes and went to sleep in my own bed. And you and your judgmental self missed the chance to meet a truly amazing person because you think that the same thing you go to a club to do is what I was out doing.
Think about it…
If you are a guy and you are reading this, would you marry a PG?
I met my friends pal, they went to uni together and being the loud mouth that I am [I have “foot-in-mouth” disease]I asked him how come he is the only one who hasn’t gone and gotten hitched. He said a very surprising thing, “well, I couldn’t marry any of the girls I used to go partying with. I want to marry a girl who is gentle and will not compete with me when it comes to going out.”
For the first time in a long while, I dint have a come-back, I think its called “growing up and learning to pick your battles”. I looked at him and I thought, ”well, aint that mighty of you?” sarcastically of course; I don’t know how to think any other way. There he was all that time going out with these girls and having fun with them but when it comes to making commitments, the girls are suddenly “too fun” for his taste? I dint see how that made sense at all but apparently it did to him and thinking about it, most guys I know think the same way.
A guy once told me that I am the only woman he knows he can call at 2AM and I will be in the house not in some club or bar, a point for me, I’m guessing, but still.
So you meet a girl in a bar or club and that straight away says she is not the take-home-to-mum type? Men, aren’t we forgetting a very important part of the equation here? YOU are In the same bar/club, aren’t you? So does that mean that you, as the guy, are not a person I would want to take home to meet the parents too? Good question, huh?
There is this stereo type for girls you meet in the club, Party Girls, and I think it’s a common misconception that all girls in that club fall into that category.
Chrystal is a lawyer [with a stripper’s name (I just had to)]and her job takes up most of her time, she gets off work late and starts real early; she doesn’t have any other chance to let off steam other than when she meets up with the girls and they go dancing. She takes of the power suit and its shorts or a LBD to the club where she dances most of the night or sips on a drink.
So you meet Chrystal on the dance floor and you immediately assume she is a PG coz of the location and dismiss her as a potential partner? No problem, she is probably out of your league; you pious jerk! Oh, there she goes! There is the me we all know.
In all seriousness, I think sometimes men are pretentious when it comes to women, you have double standards, like if a girl has slept with quite a number of men, she is a whore or not worth it? Aren’t you the same men she slept with? I don’t see how it is wrong, im not saying to go and sleep with many men, there are many risks, especially diseases, but still!
So here you are in a club and you are very likely to be looking to “funga” someone, but in the same breathe, pass judgment on a girl who might just be out on a date with her girls? How insanely demented is that?
I looked at that guy that day and I thought he was as sanctimonious as those men who go around trying to sleep with every girl they meet but still want to marry a virgin, smh. I went to the dance floor then and danced my tush off and for the next two hours, I was a party girl. I had fun; good food, some fine wine and wonderful girl friends, yes, I was a party girl for a few hours, and after that, I went home, put away my shoes and went to sleep in my own bed. And you and your judgmental self missed the chance to meet a truly amazing person because you think that the same thing you go to a club to do is what I was out doing.
Think about it…
Monday, September 12, 2011
Of Attachments and starting fresh
The other day, “Kamau took my phone and “kept it safely” for me and then over the weekend, him and his cousins decided I haven’t been keeping my stuff in the house well, and the idiots not only took my electronics, but they violated me in such ways! They took my shoes! And the ones that hurt the most were Alexander McQueen skull boots that I loved with all my heart and I cried my eyes out went to the cops and reported my stolen goods and after listing this down with the officer in charge, I realized the futility of it all. My things weren’t going to be recovered at all.
At the cop station, there was a child, a little boy, about 5 years old and apparently, he was lost and had been brought a long ways to here, he was nibbling on a scone and looked like he dint have a care in the world. I sat down to talk to him, he said his name was “Afisa”, dint know where his house was or the name of his mother, smh. By the way, his teacher is called, wait for it….. ”Teacher”. Neat, huh?
This little tyke dint have a place to sleep and there I was fretting over my shoes and what-nots! I felt shame and then I started worrying about him. It was about 9PM by then and no one had come looking for him and there he was in the raggedy couch (or semblance of it) his feet caked with mud and nodding off to sleep as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do.
Well, I went home after I realized that the cops weren’t going to help me get anything back and after seeing that little boy who dint have a care in the world as long as he had a place to lay his head.
Gets you thinking, doesn’t it?
Sometimes, we get so attached to things; we forget to see what is really important. We do the same in relationships, we concentrate so much on the things we want to see and feel we forget to enjoy the feelings and moments in-between. Sometimes we get lost in the “relationship” that we want to be in, we forget what we have.
The same way I was so excited about having a pair of Alexander McQueen skull boots, I treasured them instead of wearing and enjoying them because, in my mind, I had waited so long to get them I wanted to keep the shoes and just look at them. When Kamau took them, I lost both chances; to wear and look at them.
After the whole episode, I donated over half my clothes, bags and shoes to charity because I wanted to sever my attachment ties to stuff. It was hard to let go, but once I started, it became easier to just put them in the bags and say bye.
After this whole being robbed issue and after I moved houses, I decided my life needed a complete overhaul at least emotionally, I decided to not hang on to people, being a free spirit was more appealing and getting rid of all the emotional baggage was what I needed. I gave up all my attachments and started on a clean slate, starting every relationship anew was amazing and now, I am feeling much better about everything.
I am starting to feel like am writing a self help column and there I stop.
Next time you are clearing your closet, think about doing the same with the relationships in your life, some of them are detrimental and you are better off without them; like the raggedy pair of pants that are just taking up space in your closet, get rid of the raggedy relationships too.
At the cop station, there was a child, a little boy, about 5 years old and apparently, he was lost and had been brought a long ways to here, he was nibbling on a scone and looked like he dint have a care in the world. I sat down to talk to him, he said his name was “Afisa”, dint know where his house was or the name of his mother, smh. By the way, his teacher is called, wait for it….. ”Teacher”. Neat, huh?
This little tyke dint have a place to sleep and there I was fretting over my shoes and what-nots! I felt shame and then I started worrying about him. It was about 9PM by then and no one had come looking for him and there he was in the raggedy couch (or semblance of it) his feet caked with mud and nodding off to sleep as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do.
Well, I went home after I realized that the cops weren’t going to help me get anything back and after seeing that little boy who dint have a care in the world as long as he had a place to lay his head.
Gets you thinking, doesn’t it?
Sometimes, we get so attached to things; we forget to see what is really important. We do the same in relationships, we concentrate so much on the things we want to see and feel we forget to enjoy the feelings and moments in-between. Sometimes we get lost in the “relationship” that we want to be in, we forget what we have.
The same way I was so excited about having a pair of Alexander McQueen skull boots, I treasured them instead of wearing and enjoying them because, in my mind, I had waited so long to get them I wanted to keep the shoes and just look at them. When Kamau took them, I lost both chances; to wear and look at them.
After the whole episode, I donated over half my clothes, bags and shoes to charity because I wanted to sever my attachment ties to stuff. It was hard to let go, but once I started, it became easier to just put them in the bags and say bye.
After this whole being robbed issue and after I moved houses, I decided my life needed a complete overhaul at least emotionally, I decided to not hang on to people, being a free spirit was more appealing and getting rid of all the emotional baggage was what I needed. I gave up all my attachments and started on a clean slate, starting every relationship anew was amazing and now, I am feeling much better about everything.
I am starting to feel like am writing a self help column and there I stop.
Next time you are clearing your closet, think about doing the same with the relationships in your life, some of them are detrimental and you are better off without them; like the raggedy pair of pants that are just taking up space in your closet, get rid of the raggedy relationships too.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Of Women and Relationships
Why do we care so much about relationships?
Do we need to be in a relationship to be happy?
Do we need a relationship to define ourselves?
Recently I have been hanging out with girlfriends who have either been in a relationship for a very long time, getting married or been in relationships that they walked out of [and their friends] and some in dysfunctional ones. The similarity with all the times I have sat down with these women is that men were the topic of discussions that we entered into after the formality of getting to know each others’ names.
The questions above are the ones that were in my head after the last week (yep, it all happened in one week! I got around!) Today, I asked myself these three and I dint have an answer, not a single one. I looked at myself and I am the worst example I can give from a relationship perspective! But as usual, I always have an opinion, stop nodding your head! It’s not like you don’t have one yourself!
Women operate in different parameters from men, that I know for a fact; because where a woman sees potential for a relationship, a man sees a romp or at most, a fling [well, mostly, they do]. A woman will at some point in her life want to settle down, it’s in her mid twenties mostly, and she will be frustrated if she hasn’t found “the one” and will be looking for him and wondering what was wrong with all the men she has dated and they more or less turned out to be jerks by definition. Some women are lucky [I really want to add a profanity here but I will definitely come off sounding bitter, so no, I will not.] and they will date “the one” guy from college, not high school, not in this country, no way! And she will end up marrying him and they have a bunch of kids a dog and a mboch to boot. Not all women are in this percentile, at least not some of the ones I met, and definitely not me. I dint meet “the one”, mostly, it was “that one”, but I’m not complaining, scars give you character and mine I consider ‘spoils of war’.
Women look for a guy, no, I need to correct that, a man who is a valuable addition to their lives, someone they can raise a family with, one who is responsible, has a hold on their lives, a man who is stable and they can look up to; a man who can take charge. Most of the guys we have met are Mr. Right now, not marriage material, nah uh! He is just a guy who is out to have a good time. I sat through these little parties and tried to convince myself that I was different, that maybe I hadn’t gotten to that stage where I wanted to settle down with a man, but I could only lie to myself for so long; after all, I am a woman, aren’t I? Maybe I have been running away from it, but I get lonely sometimes [this sounds pathetic, said out loud to myself] and I wish I dint have to go home to a house that only has shoes, but that is just it; sad, isn’t it? But it doesn’t mean I don’t like being on my own, there are certain perks that I do not want to let go off that come with flying solo….who am I kidding, I would let it all go in a heartbeat if “the right one” came along, and then convince him that we [read: I] need a walk in closet as big as my bedroom.
Women will so often talk about how they like being on their own, about how being independent is the best thing that ever happened to them, and at the bridal shower I attended, I would have been that woman, but secretly, deep inside, I would have been simmering with green fire wishing I were that woman getting hitched. At the afore mentioned shindig, I dint say a peep about independence, nope, I nodded my head and smiled and listened to these women giving their friend advice on what being married was about, about how blessed she was to have found her soul-mate and how they wished her happiness. I think we all wished we were her right then. I wished I were her, but mostly because it would mean that most of my uncertainties were behind me and I could look forward to a different phase in my life.
I have said to my friends on several occasions that I will get married for the pictures, and maybe when I said it, it was funny, but I was scared, still am; marriage is a serious step, it’s not just a wedding, and it’s a union [my word! I sound old! I don’t even cuss the same!] And its takes a lot to make it happen. Maybe that is the reason I am scared, or maybe it’s the idea that I would have to see the same face every single morning when I wake up; how do people do it?!
Do relationships define us? They do. At some point in our lives, relationships do define who we are and what we are, in this case, happy. Happy because you have someone in your life who is willing to take you as you are; your alligator mornings breathe to boot! Someone who completes you and looks at you in that way that makes your tummy flutter [someone has hacked my blog! I do not speak like this!]. This person basically makes you feel, each day of your life, like you are the luckiest woman/man alive.
Not all relationships work out, nope, some are even disastrous, but being women [I do not count myself here] we hold on and hope that someday, he will see the sense in what we have [I prefer “had”] and he will straighten himself out and come back home. By this I mean, some women have a one sided relationship with the man being an absentee and the kids only remember him when he decides to show his face at home to pick up a suit. It’s sad, but it happens. I have so many things I could say about these men, but I do not think they deserve the space.
As women, we have clocks in our bodies that let us know when it’s time to get on to another stage in our lives; and sometimes, we need to stop being so hard headed and listen to the ticking. You know when you see a mother carrying a child and you think, “aawww, that is so cute. I wish I had me one of those” well, hint, hint. That is all I’m going to say. Not that you should go and get yourself knocked up or anything, everything has its time; but you need to realize, no woman is an island and you need someone to be with you, a shoulder to lean on, a friend who is next to you, not a call away, no; right next to you.
Now I have been listening and my clock says it’s time for me to stop rambling and get some sleep. I am not going to wake up kesho and decide that I needs me a man to marry me, no, I will take my time and like I said all things at the right time.
We all need somebody.
Chew on that, will you?
Do we need to be in a relationship to be happy?
Do we need a relationship to define ourselves?
Recently I have been hanging out with girlfriends who have either been in a relationship for a very long time, getting married or been in relationships that they walked out of [and their friends] and some in dysfunctional ones. The similarity with all the times I have sat down with these women is that men were the topic of discussions that we entered into after the formality of getting to know each others’ names.
The questions above are the ones that were in my head after the last week (yep, it all happened in one week! I got around!) Today, I asked myself these three and I dint have an answer, not a single one. I looked at myself and I am the worst example I can give from a relationship perspective! But as usual, I always have an opinion, stop nodding your head! It’s not like you don’t have one yourself!
Women operate in different parameters from men, that I know for a fact; because where a woman sees potential for a relationship, a man sees a romp or at most, a fling [well, mostly, they do]. A woman will at some point in her life want to settle down, it’s in her mid twenties mostly, and she will be frustrated if she hasn’t found “the one” and will be looking for him and wondering what was wrong with all the men she has dated and they more or less turned out to be jerks by definition. Some women are lucky [I really want to add a profanity here but I will definitely come off sounding bitter, so no, I will not.] and they will date “the one” guy from college, not high school, not in this country, no way! And she will end up marrying him and they have a bunch of kids a dog and a mboch to boot. Not all women are in this percentile, at least not some of the ones I met, and definitely not me. I dint meet “the one”, mostly, it was “that one”, but I’m not complaining, scars give you character and mine I consider ‘spoils of war’.
Women look for a guy, no, I need to correct that, a man who is a valuable addition to their lives, someone they can raise a family with, one who is responsible, has a hold on their lives, a man who is stable and they can look up to; a man who can take charge. Most of the guys we have met are Mr. Right now, not marriage material, nah uh! He is just a guy who is out to have a good time. I sat through these little parties and tried to convince myself that I was different, that maybe I hadn’t gotten to that stage where I wanted to settle down with a man, but I could only lie to myself for so long; after all, I am a woman, aren’t I? Maybe I have been running away from it, but I get lonely sometimes [this sounds pathetic, said out loud to myself] and I wish I dint have to go home to a house that only has shoes, but that is just it; sad, isn’t it? But it doesn’t mean I don’t like being on my own, there are certain perks that I do not want to let go off that come with flying solo….who am I kidding, I would let it all go in a heartbeat if “the right one” came along, and then convince him that we [read: I] need a walk in closet as big as my bedroom.
Women will so often talk about how they like being on their own, about how being independent is the best thing that ever happened to them, and at the bridal shower I attended, I would have been that woman, but secretly, deep inside, I would have been simmering with green fire wishing I were that woman getting hitched. At the afore mentioned shindig, I dint say a peep about independence, nope, I nodded my head and smiled and listened to these women giving their friend advice on what being married was about, about how blessed she was to have found her soul-mate and how they wished her happiness. I think we all wished we were her right then. I wished I were her, but mostly because it would mean that most of my uncertainties were behind me and I could look forward to a different phase in my life.
I have said to my friends on several occasions that I will get married for the pictures, and maybe when I said it, it was funny, but I was scared, still am; marriage is a serious step, it’s not just a wedding, and it’s a union [my word! I sound old! I don’t even cuss the same!] And its takes a lot to make it happen. Maybe that is the reason I am scared, or maybe it’s the idea that I would have to see the same face every single morning when I wake up; how do people do it?!
Do relationships define us? They do. At some point in our lives, relationships do define who we are and what we are, in this case, happy. Happy because you have someone in your life who is willing to take you as you are; your alligator mornings breathe to boot! Someone who completes you and looks at you in that way that makes your tummy flutter [someone has hacked my blog! I do not speak like this!]. This person basically makes you feel, each day of your life, like you are the luckiest woman/man alive.
Not all relationships work out, nope, some are even disastrous, but being women [I do not count myself here] we hold on and hope that someday, he will see the sense in what we have [I prefer “had”] and he will straighten himself out and come back home. By this I mean, some women have a one sided relationship with the man being an absentee and the kids only remember him when he decides to show his face at home to pick up a suit. It’s sad, but it happens. I have so many things I could say about these men, but I do not think they deserve the space.
As women, we have clocks in our bodies that let us know when it’s time to get on to another stage in our lives; and sometimes, we need to stop being so hard headed and listen to the ticking. You know when you see a mother carrying a child and you think, “aawww, that is so cute. I wish I had me one of those” well, hint, hint. That is all I’m going to say. Not that you should go and get yourself knocked up or anything, everything has its time; but you need to realize, no woman is an island and you need someone to be with you, a shoulder to lean on, a friend who is next to you, not a call away, no; right next to you.
Now I have been listening and my clock says it’s time for me to stop rambling and get some sleep. I am not going to wake up kesho and decide that I needs me a man to marry me, no, I will take my time and like I said all things at the right time.
We all need somebody.
Chew on that, will you?
Friday, July 15, 2011
For Nancy Adwar
There are so many words that you could use to describe when you don’t have any control over a situation but the only one that comes to mind is, ‘helpless’.
A little while ago, my friend lost someone that meant the world to them and when I found out, I dint know what to say, wait, I did, and I thought to myself, “I am so sorry” but what would that do to or for them?
I lost my mom 16 years ago and I was 10 years old; I thought my world had ended and I dint want anyone near me, I basically hated everyone, God was right on top of that list because my young mind dint think that it was fair of Him to take the center of my world away, I thought that He loved people and that He wouldn’t do anything to hurt people’s moms because they did all the work for Him, here on Earth, like they were His angels, but for here, not up there.
Now, am crying while I write this [and my vision is getting so blurred by tears I have to breathe and sniff just so I can go on writing] and even though it was that long ago and I accepted the way things are, I still feel like it should not be like that, coz it is so hard when you lose someone and for a while it seems as if your whole world has come to a complete stand still.
I totally get this feeling but it doesn’t mean I ever know what someone else is feeling, no, when you lose someone, it a different pain altogether , it’s a personal pain, deep inside you and nothing anyone can say could ever take it away.
So I think I think about my friend and I think of what he is going through, what his family is going through, and I can’t begin to comprehend, all I think is, I hope they are strong together and that they will take this to make them as a family and their love for each other even stronger.
Nancy Adwar, I did not know you, but I know someone who thought and still thinks the world of you; this is for you, from your friends, your family and from me, who never knew you but I love them, and in essence, that brings you into the equation:
Never a dull moment while you were around
Always had us in stitches and smiling just coz you did too
Now that you are gone, it doesn’t change, we are still smiling
Coz you live on in our hearts where it matters most
You, my dear, have gone up to Him; down here, we miss and love you still.
A little while ago, my friend lost someone that meant the world to them and when I found out, I dint know what to say, wait, I did, and I thought to myself, “I am so sorry” but what would that do to or for them?
I lost my mom 16 years ago and I was 10 years old; I thought my world had ended and I dint want anyone near me, I basically hated everyone, God was right on top of that list because my young mind dint think that it was fair of Him to take the center of my world away, I thought that He loved people and that He wouldn’t do anything to hurt people’s moms because they did all the work for Him, here on Earth, like they were His angels, but for here, not up there.
Now, am crying while I write this [and my vision is getting so blurred by tears I have to breathe and sniff just so I can go on writing] and even though it was that long ago and I accepted the way things are, I still feel like it should not be like that, coz it is so hard when you lose someone and for a while it seems as if your whole world has come to a complete stand still.
I totally get this feeling but it doesn’t mean I ever know what someone else is feeling, no, when you lose someone, it a different pain altogether , it’s a personal pain, deep inside you and nothing anyone can say could ever take it away.
So I think I think about my friend and I think of what he is going through, what his family is going through, and I can’t begin to comprehend, all I think is, I hope they are strong together and that they will take this to make them as a family and their love for each other even stronger.
Nancy Adwar, I did not know you, but I know someone who thought and still thinks the world of you; this is for you, from your friends, your family and from me, who never knew you but I love them, and in essence, that brings you into the equation:
Never a dull moment while you were around
Always had us in stitches and smiling just coz you did too
Now that you are gone, it doesn’t change, we are still smiling
Coz you live on in our hearts where it matters most
You, my dear, have gone up to Him; down here, we miss and love you still.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Of Politics...
I found out the other day that Martha has paid her taxes and since “everyone” else has been making it like a public declaration that they are doing this tremendously awesome thing that only superhuman beings could do, well, I was elated to not see it in the news but to actually hear it from someone and I was relieved that she did not make a public spectacle of it; I am a Kenyan, I have been paying my taxes and I haven't had TV crew following me and filming the whole process because it is expected of me to do this, curses to those leaders who have been making a spectacle of the process and making me want to hit them with a stick when I watch news and I see them in line waiting to pay “their taxes” *pah!*
A few months ago, some friends of mine approached me and asked about my views on what I think Kenya is or has become and If I could change it, what I would want with the current system, well, after the whole fracas of 2007/8 I hated all that the government represented and I had at some point thought of asking Jennifer Garner if she knew of any assassin school I could go to. But I digress, I gave them my two cents and they listened and asked me what I want to do about it, well, I wanted to do some pretty nasty stuff, but I dint want them thinking I was crazy, so I went with the sane answer, I wanted a fresh start, I wanted my faith in the government restored, I wanted a country I wasn't ashamed of. I rambled on [I tend to do that a lot] and finally asked what they were getting at, well, they were shooting an ad of sorts for no other than; Martha Karua, and they wanted me to say, in one word, what I wanted for my country....i thought that was impossible, but I thought, yeah, sure, lets see how this goes; so we settle on a day and I head on home
On the said day, we take a cab and we head out, let me paint you a picture: when you have been brought up on the East side of town, when you go to the other side, there is some sort of 'shock' [like culture shock, but not] and awe that there is such difference between where you are and where you are from, it even feels like the air is different!
Fenced in compounds, nice looking houses that you catch glimpses of through lush trees [where I live, there is building after, storied, building; and I live on the second floor of one of them and I don't see any trees. Ever. I want to live in a place like this, some day, I muse] Uniformed 'help' walking a child in a pram and then we get to these double gates, and I almost feel like we should have blindfolds or bags over our heads so we don't know where we are exactly, but no, we get in, nice looking compound, cobbled from the gate to the front of the house, the porch, I think its called.
To one side is a garden that is a bit raised with several steps leading to it, a bush that looks like it was deliberately placed and a nice shady tree in front of it. I want to run and roll in the grass, but I am wary, thinking of my three “C's” - cool, calm and collected, like I have my wits about my ears; again, I wish I lived here. The thing that surprised me the most was, it was not a pretentious home like those in Nigerian films, no; neither was the feel of the place overwhelming, it kind of beckoned to me, I don't know about the other guys I was with, but I wanted to walk into the house, whose door was ajar, and plonk on a seat somewhere inside.
So the director of the shoot comes out and tells us what to do, we get some dry runs in and finally, she walks out of the house, says hi to everyone, listens to the director, and I try not to stare at her. She laughs at herself when she makes a mistake and goes to change when she is asked to...the shoot goes really well.[see her face book videos]
After, we have tea and juice with fruits and pastries and then she sat down with us to have lunch, she tells us to sit at some shaded spot away from the bald spot on the grounds, she says she lets the grass grow on its own, doesn't water the lawn because its just wrong to do that and there are people who do not have water, I am impressed at how unpretentious she is!
Now you do understand, when you hear of one of the politicians, you don't really think you would be sitting down with them having a meal without first having to jump through so many hoops and having to speak to so many other people; yet there she was, across the garden table from me.
She tells us about herself and her life growing up, her first job, her first holiday, I’m amazed that she isn't trying to “sell us” into voting for her, no, she just talks like we have known her for so long, tells us of funny incidences and I look at her and I think, I would love to have such an approachable person leading our country. Someone who feels like a mother, a sister, a friend all in one, she listens when someone interjects or asks her a question and doesn't avoid answering any of them.
We laugh and joke, and finally [unfortunately] we have to leave; but I have a different view of who she is and I start doing research on her, she is as straight as they come and a single mom, and after meeting her son on that day, and hear her speak of her daughter, well, she did a pretty good job. I was raised by a single mom and I dint turn out so bad, in my books, a woman who raises her kids single handed, doesn't send them away to her mother and they turn out responsible adults, well, you have my backing coz I saw my mom do it and she is my hero.
So today I see a guy on fb write that Martha sell all her property and give the money to starving people in Wajir, am not saying this is an inane comment, but you see how I would be drawn to that conclusion, huh?
Sometimes we do not think things through, in as much as they are our leaders, they are also people, this person commenting like this, why hasn't he sold all his stuff and gone and fed people? She, Martha is in a position of power, a position which enables her to actually initiate change, I will say, have you seen what she has done in Gichugu? Coz I did and I was impressed with the advancement, sanitary, health and educational facilities are done so well.
Y'all [why did I just write that?!] know that I don't really get into political discussions, but after I met Martha Karua, I changed my mind. She is a force to reckon with because she is what all the others haven't been, she is available and ready to make a difference and I believe in her.
I remember when I was little and I loved where I lived, it was nice, clean and safe and all my neighbors were family, even though they beat me up sometimes because I did silly things like light up fireworks at their windows for laughs, it was great that I knew I was safe. I no longer feel that now and I would want to, she gave me hope for that, and I want to hold on to that hope. I am so getting up on that day and voting for her, I will lose sleep, but I will have had a hand in trying to make a change for my Kenya.
Shae went all political...im proud of me.
A few months ago, some friends of mine approached me and asked about my views on what I think Kenya is or has become and If I could change it, what I would want with the current system, well, after the whole fracas of 2007/8 I hated all that the government represented and I had at some point thought of asking Jennifer Garner if she knew of any assassin school I could go to. But I digress, I gave them my two cents and they listened and asked me what I want to do about it, well, I wanted to do some pretty nasty stuff, but I dint want them thinking I was crazy, so I went with the sane answer, I wanted a fresh start, I wanted my faith in the government restored, I wanted a country I wasn't ashamed of. I rambled on [I tend to do that a lot] and finally asked what they were getting at, well, they were shooting an ad of sorts for no other than; Martha Karua, and they wanted me to say, in one word, what I wanted for my country....i thought that was impossible, but I thought, yeah, sure, lets see how this goes; so we settle on a day and I head on home
On the said day, we take a cab and we head out, let me paint you a picture: when you have been brought up on the East side of town, when you go to the other side, there is some sort of 'shock' [like culture shock, but not] and awe that there is such difference between where you are and where you are from, it even feels like the air is different!
Fenced in compounds, nice looking houses that you catch glimpses of through lush trees [where I live, there is building after, storied, building; and I live on the second floor of one of them and I don't see any trees. Ever. I want to live in a place like this, some day, I muse] Uniformed 'help' walking a child in a pram and then we get to these double gates, and I almost feel like we should have blindfolds or bags over our heads so we don't know where we are exactly, but no, we get in, nice looking compound, cobbled from the gate to the front of the house, the porch, I think its called.
To one side is a garden that is a bit raised with several steps leading to it, a bush that looks like it was deliberately placed and a nice shady tree in front of it. I want to run and roll in the grass, but I am wary, thinking of my three “C's” - cool, calm and collected, like I have my wits about my ears; again, I wish I lived here. The thing that surprised me the most was, it was not a pretentious home like those in Nigerian films, no; neither was the feel of the place overwhelming, it kind of beckoned to me, I don't know about the other guys I was with, but I wanted to walk into the house, whose door was ajar, and plonk on a seat somewhere inside.
So the director of the shoot comes out and tells us what to do, we get some dry runs in and finally, she walks out of the house, says hi to everyone, listens to the director, and I try not to stare at her. She laughs at herself when she makes a mistake and goes to change when she is asked to...the shoot goes really well.[see her face book videos]
After, we have tea and juice with fruits and pastries and then she sat down with us to have lunch, she tells us to sit at some shaded spot away from the bald spot on the grounds, she says she lets the grass grow on its own, doesn't water the lawn because its just wrong to do that and there are people who do not have water, I am impressed at how unpretentious she is!
Now you do understand, when you hear of one of the politicians, you don't really think you would be sitting down with them having a meal without first having to jump through so many hoops and having to speak to so many other people; yet there she was, across the garden table from me.
She tells us about herself and her life growing up, her first job, her first holiday, I’m amazed that she isn't trying to “sell us” into voting for her, no, she just talks like we have known her for so long, tells us of funny incidences and I look at her and I think, I would love to have such an approachable person leading our country. Someone who feels like a mother, a sister, a friend all in one, she listens when someone interjects or asks her a question and doesn't avoid answering any of them.
We laugh and joke, and finally [unfortunately] we have to leave; but I have a different view of who she is and I start doing research on her, she is as straight as they come and a single mom, and after meeting her son on that day, and hear her speak of her daughter, well, she did a pretty good job. I was raised by a single mom and I dint turn out so bad, in my books, a woman who raises her kids single handed, doesn't send them away to her mother and they turn out responsible adults, well, you have my backing coz I saw my mom do it and she is my hero.
So today I see a guy on fb write that Martha sell all her property and give the money to starving people in Wajir, am not saying this is an inane comment, but you see how I would be drawn to that conclusion, huh?
Sometimes we do not think things through, in as much as they are our leaders, they are also people, this person commenting like this, why hasn't he sold all his stuff and gone and fed people? She, Martha is in a position of power, a position which enables her to actually initiate change, I will say, have you seen what she has done in Gichugu? Coz I did and I was impressed with the advancement, sanitary, health and educational facilities are done so well.
Y'all [why did I just write that?!] know that I don't really get into political discussions, but after I met Martha Karua, I changed my mind. She is a force to reckon with because she is what all the others haven't been, she is available and ready to make a difference and I believe in her.
I remember when I was little and I loved where I lived, it was nice, clean and safe and all my neighbors were family, even though they beat me up sometimes because I did silly things like light up fireworks at their windows for laughs, it was great that I knew I was safe. I no longer feel that now and I would want to, she gave me hope for that, and I want to hold on to that hope. I am so getting up on that day and voting for her, I will lose sleep, but I will have had a hand in trying to make a change for my Kenya.
Shae went all political...im proud of me.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Of Social Media et all
My first peek into social media was through Yahoo and I discovered yahoo chat rooms and the ever faithful messenger; needless to say, I met a lot of weirdos and since I had watched a considerable amount of telly, well, I was wary of sexual predators and of the ever looming identity thieves, though I doubt now I had much to worry about the later since I had exactly nothing but clothes to my name, and even those were debatable since my cousins pretty much owned half of them....i made some good friends from yahoo, and we'd be in the same cyber but chatting it was glorious, knowing that I could reach people all over, so I started e-mailing my cousins in the states (why do we say this?) because the time difference would not allow for much chatting and then I discovered Google mail and HI5 and then Facebook and much more recently, Twitter. (I also have a Myspace!! * hides in shame *)
So now that I have given a rundown on that, I want to get to what made me take that stroll [memory lane] I recently realized that most of the friends I have and I enjoy “spending” time with, I do not really know and I have not met but I feel like they are family, like I have known them for the longest time. In the same light, I started thinking if this is the way we are now living, I sit at a table with my friends but we find it easier to tweet that to have an actual conversation and if we do have a conversation, social media will come up, ”....so last night I was on Twitter and this guy...OMG, he has such a hot avi!”
Most of our lives is spent online and it seems, the only way you can meet people is if you do it online.
I don't know any people who have met online and became a “thing” but I know quite a few people who have met and hooked up from facebook and twitter, and by that I mean, had sex.
Is this the new dating scene? And more importantly, would you date someone you met online?
Don't get me wrong, but if you hit on me and I haven't had a decent conversation with you or “known” you for more than a month [daily conversations] then I will not give you the time of day!
Given, I am a ridiculous flirt and I WILL lead you on because sometimes I get bored and anywhere I can catch a thrill, even a cheap one, then I take it! And maybe I will even set up a date with you, but you need to know that I am very intricate with my schemes and that I am a conniving B* who will sit with you just so I can watch you get ideas [that I will help build] into your skull and then walk away, that is just me; a thrill seeker...but maybe its because I have yet to meet that one person who will impress me just as much in person as they do in cyber space because most people are brilliant online but are a total disappointment in person, they just don't measure up.
Even though “this isn't America” where we are told of oh, so many online sexual predators, there is always the risk that some sick bastard somewhere has discovered that there are so many needy people out there [and we are needy, what, with “adding/accepting/following”] and it would be like a kid in a candy store for this predator; I sure am glad Onyancha never did a cyber thing!
And now that I actually have something to my name, I am scared of identity thieves, and am still afraid that someone will try to dupe me, and not those “Nigerian Princes” who have fake ass accounts that need someone else {read, 'me'} to access them.
Cyber space is a wonderful addition to my life, I have met great minds, hilarious people and made some awesome (a few weird ones too) friends, but I am still wary of it because, the machines have really taken over...
I will be back. Asta la vista, baby. * in Schwarzenegger's voice *
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