My Woes

So yesterday I sat with, no let me correct that, I was in the same room/space with this girl that seemed (why the hell I’m I trying to be nice??! It’s too much effort!!!) so, I will put it across like it really was, she had an opinion [not] about everything!!! And I kid you not, about everything! Just went yadda yadda this, yadda yadda that!!

Let me start from the beginning;

I was meeting a friend for a drink, (I don’t know why I call it that, since it ends up being very disparaging when I state in simple terms that I do not ‘partake’ in alcohol infused drinks/beverages, which for some reason or other, people seem to find hard to believe…oh, my woes!) so I get off work and I head on over, I am in generally high spirits, which I must assume is from the Snickers Bar that I’m taking, coz I am not generally known to be very good with meeting new people (can you call people “new”?) so it must have been the sugar.

Now, where was I?...oh yeah, I head on over and I meet this gorgeous guy who has everything going for him, I mean, he is impeccably dressed, and I mean, up to the shoes; classic hair cut, beard trimmed, and glasses (now, I feel I must mention, I have a ‘thing’ for guys with glasses, maybe it’s the ‘geekiness’ of it, [and here, I shrug]) and he smiles to reveal perfectly straight pearly whites, now those of you who know me, know I have vampire teeth, and I appreciate when someone is blessed in that area, but I wouldn’t trade mine for anything!

So, back to the beautiful man, he is also blessed with the gift of gab, and I must say he was very well cultured, so I think there must be something wrong with him, no one is that perfect, uh, uh.

Then I say a rather luke-warm hi to my ‘date’ who is actually a very good friend but right then, my view was already jaded by the man sent to torment me! (I’m sorry darling, you know I still got nothing but love for you; handsome men come and go, but you will always be there XOXO)
I take a seat and immediately grab my cell and pretend to be texting so that my breathing can go back to being normal, coz I wouldn’t want to appear flustered, not to this man, anyway, I wanted to be calm, cool and collected, if that were even possible, since my body and my mind were playing hide and seek! “breathe, breathe, breathe” I chanted in my head, then he spoke to me asking what my name was, I look up, and im back to being me, I love this!
“My name is Anne. And you are?”
I think at that point he answered but I was already on another subject to my friend, coz he had started looking at me funny, coz he thought that men had no effect on me whatsoever! So to reassure him that I was still superwoman, I gave him all my attention and ignored Mr. good-looking, thereby killing the proverbial two birds (animal cruelty!) with one stone, I seemed aloof and considerate in one beat…hehe.

So now, miss “i-have-an-opinion[not]-on

-everything” shows up and throws herself totally at Mr. Perfect, its quite entertaining to watch at first, but when she starts embarrassing the female species, I draw my line! I mean, whatever the guy says, she agrees with and says she “LOVES” let me draw you a diagram;

Mr. Perfect, “I like watching football”
Miss B****, “I LOOOVE (and it is drawn out like that!) Football”
Mr. P., “so I think a man has no place in the kitchen”
Miss B, “oh, baby, I know”

Now I know my kitchen isn’t that big, but I’m sure Mr. P can fit in there, and I will still have room to move around him. Or maybe I’m just being a bit tetchy, but if a guy can eat, he can make himself useful in the same area of interest.

So this is my point, this girl agreed with everything that came out of tat man’s mouth, and it started getting to me, coz I know that not all women are that stupid!!

I will give myself a hernia if I go on about the little skinny girl (I do not particularly care for skinny women, no offence, it’s just my opinion, it makes me want to feed them coz they look hungry)

I have to admit she had a redeeming moment when she said something so blonde, even Mr. P couldn’t help but smile, I was just about ready to burst out laughing, but it added up, she dint have an opinion of her own but was going along with whatever Mr. P was saying coz either she had no clue or she was to blonde to have a clue!
So my feelings edged towards the pity cliff, but add alcohol to the equation and she became outright rude and shot (or made her best effort to) down everything I said.
Now im not one to pick a fight, but if you are stupid and I say something that you have no clue about, shut the fuck up and do what you do best, “sit and look pretty”; coz it really unnerves me when a girl comes off as an utter idiot, it gives men the wrong impression! You can be given both, beauty and brains!

So little girl got to me, and I thought of telling her off,
“Sweetheart, if you have to try, and you are trying, to make me look bad to make you look good; you must be a sorry little case”

She wouldn’t understand me, and I felt that my insult would be wasted on her! NKT!!
Oh, well, some things, you just have to let go of.

And at dinner, she ordered ‘chips’ I think if you are trying to impress a guy, a cultured guy, if I may add, the best you could do would be to actually have a clue about food especially if he took the trouble to take you to a nice restaurant…ask the waiter to recommend something if you are clueless!!!

Lets just say when it came to taking my leave, I had never been so grateful, I was embarrassed for her and for what she was doing [not] for women.

So that was my evening.

!aaaarrgghh!!!