Ramblings

So just like everything else, there's always a point where one is never sure of what is going through their heads, that said, if this doesnt make sense, then it is true to its meaning.

There's plenty of reason why i would want to write, but for the first time, i dont really have a clue as to why im doing so!
I was compelled by something unexplainable to just pen down something, anything, i looked for a pen and couldnt find one (now i know what my nephew was doing in my purse!) as for paper, back to my nephew, he turned all my diaries into 'work space', a better description of what he does, may be homework, doodling, whatever catches his fancy at any one time!

It hit me that i have editing (what is the spelling of 'write' in continous form?) space on ever faithful FB! The 'light bulb' came on and no matter how many times i try to clap, the bloody thing wont go off!!
So now im set to write and i have so many ideas of what i want to write about, but then i remember what Ben said in one of his notes, about people finding out much about 'one' from FB, and i get paranoid. I dont want people to know me that well!! I want to keep guarded, my 'secrets'.

What would be the point of write(-ing) if we dint get insights into what the 'author' was feeling, (at the time) thinking, (other than the context of his words)...

On that note, im feeling betrayed, lost, alone, weak, sad...but for the life of me, i cannot muster an iota of strength to put that in my words, i can only think 'happy'!
Conflicting thots and feelings!?
Maybe this is what all great authors had to go through but they can separate the pure, from the 'chaos'.
But i have tried, and (not 'fail (-ed)) wasnt able to.
But surprisingly, i am feeling alot better, more organizd in my head than when i first log-d on to do this, my heart still feels like lead but my thots are clearer, i feel i have progressed in a plan that is stil in its initial stages of being born...and i feel that 'this' aided alot in the process.

Signed,
My 'rambles'.